Why you should never brake for animals

Living in the desert, I routinely witness other drivers hard-braking for animals crossing the roadway.
I think this is a mistake.
When any type of critter runs in front me, or even contemplates running in front of me, I feverishly hit the gas.
I do this with good reason.
First, I make them better animals if they survive, having found a new gear they didn’t know they had, outrunning my jeep and all.
From a Darwinian perspective this only makes them stronger, faster and more desirable when it comes to finding a mate. After all, who doesn’t want “outran Jeep” on their animal resume?

Secondly, if I do run one over, I’ve eliminated slow from their species gene pool, which I’m guessing is a huge favor to the others since this guy was probably a lazy motherfucker to begin with, otherwise he’d have lit it up when he saw me coming.

And finally, I think it teaches the others a valuable lesson in decision making.
Sit and watch me coming, deciding at the last minute to run, and wind up like ’ol Bob over there, flatter ’n a pancake,  or simply run for your life. Literally.

So in a weird way, I’m actually good for desert species, even going as far as saying that if everyone else thought this way, we’d have a stronger, much more vibrant animal population a couple generations down the line.
And this in turn would make me a better hunter, forcing me to find a new level of quick when it comes to shooting these new speedy little fuckers.

Evolution is so cool.

So Mr. Rabbit...you think you're fast? Well outrun this motherfucker!