An Indian dilemma: Beef or Veal?

God-

Level with me.
Did you make cows sacred just to fuck with the Hindu people of India? That’d be pretty messed up if you did, especially with all those people starving and what not.
Couldn’t you have just as easily made brussel sprouts sacred?
I’m guessing they’d be pretty easy to worship too, and given their relatively small size, you could always have a few laying around in a bowl somewhere if you felt the need to say a quick prayer or something.
The cow, not so much.
I know if I lived in India, and you had made brussel sprouts holy, you’d never have to sweat me eating them, or anyone else eating them for that matter, due to the rancid-as-ass taste you gave them.

Cows, on the other hand, have got to be the most unholy animal on the planet with the exception of chickens, (who routinely eat their own shit).
In fact, by last count, cows break at least 3 of the 7 deadly sins daily, assuming the 7 deadly sins apply to the bovine realm, and from all my catholic training, I’m pretty sure they do.

Here’s a thought.
Why not make only veal holy?
They look and taste like little baby lambs which we all know is a staple of Indian cuisine.
They’re even small enough to have around as a house pet, then, when they start to get big and turn into a fully grown beef cow or bull, and, they’re not little baby veals any longer, it’d be ok to eat them—serving them up with a nice goblet of bordeaux, some herbed fingerling potatoes and a nice bernaise sauce. Kind of a celebratory supper. From veal to cow to dinner table. Yum.

God bless the brussel sprouts!

And to make the event even more holy, we could all hold hands and say something nice about the brussel sprouts before chowing down on the beef.
Even though we won’t mean it.

Just a thought.

Love, medium rare.

Diego