Skip the wings and give me beaver teeth
God-
I don’t understand how the whole angel wing thing works.
Do we still have arms in Heaven or just wings? I’ve always wanted to fly like a bird, so the wings would be totally cool, but only if I get to keep my arms in the deal.
If I think about my daily routine now, I’ll need my hands to flip people off and make pancakes for breakfast. I’m uncertain wings will allow me to do either.
Besides, wings have feathers and feathers molt.
We had a parakeet once, he molted constantly until one day when he lost all his feathers and keeled over.
Why wings anyway? Why on earth would you pattern us after a bird with only the wings and no beak? This makes no sense.
Why couldn’t you have patterned us after a really cool animal, like a beaver or a sea otter. They’re really cute and playful, very family oriented and they have huge choppers. (I like big teeth, I know, its weird).
Check out his Chuck Taylor's
By contrast, birds are a nasty sort, reptilian by ancestry, and, the last time I checked, related to snakes.
Again, this seems to go against all the stuff in the bible about serpents and what troublemakers they are.
I think its high time you updated the whole angel image. A newer, fresher approach that gets folks excited about coming your way.
What about one of those jet-fueled backpacks instead of wings? It seems like a much better technology and it doesn’t molt.
I can’t speak for others, but the flying around with a backpack would sure get me watered-up about dying.
Do the Chuck Taylor’s come with the deal? It’s alright if they don’t, they’re not a dealbreaker.
Not getting the huge teeth is, however.
Gnawingly yours,
Diego
