Slim Thug doing Gospel?

God-

Why does gospel music suck so badly?
It shouldn’t, but it does, and I think I know the reason why.
A lot of people here don’t like hearing the name Jesus invoked every 10 seconds during a song—do that, and I’m frantically scrambling for my tuner to change the station, prior to the singer invoking one more Jesus.
We all know what a great guy Jesus was, is there really a need to showcase him in every fucking gospel song? Seriously?
Why can’t gospel songwriters be more creative?
Enough already with all those incessant ‘praise the lords’—JESUS!

There were other great biblical figures besides Jesus, why not write about one of them—like that prostitute Jesus healed—Mary Magdalene?
Why I’d bet if he wanted to, Slim Thug could easily pull off a gospel song about her and no one would be none the wiser, with all his “Put some back and some neck up on it” shit he’s constantly bandying about.

Or what about the biblical prophet Hosea, whom God supposedly told to marry a whore. Slim could’ve had a field day with him, and the best part is how kids would never know the name Hosea was biblical. They’d probably think the Ho in Hosea referenced one of Slim’s bitches, thinking it was cool—subliminal gospel at its finest.

You know who would be really good at writing gospel lyrics?
T.I.
No one can understand half the shit he’s talking about anyway, so why not give him a bunch of ideas about biblical booty and let him go crazy?
Just think how glorious it would be if you could get your ‘word’ out, while at the same time, we got some awesome tunage out of the deal?

I propose T.I. start with a tune about Cain and Abel,  a fine story about how Cain killed his bro-bro, only in the rap-gospel version, T.I. could have Cain pop a cap in Abel when God rejects his offering of fruits and vegetables over Abel’s ‘sacrificed’ goats or lambs. .
This would be a much more exciting way to learn about the bible than actually reading it, shit, who has time for that—not when you can get hip hop artists to deliver it directly to your headphones.

I can only guess what Eminem and Nate Dogg could do with that guy from the bible named Samson, you know—the one who screwed all those prostitutes?
Why they’d probably have Samson in a room full of pole-dancing, double-D bitches loaded on Crystal and E, shaking their asses like an Indosesian earthquake just hit.

Now that’s a gospel CD I would actually purchase for a change.

 

Diego